Practice Resilience by Facing Rejection

4 min

One simple way to grow your resilience is to expose yourself to the chance of rejection.

Start by asking for small things that have a high chance of getting rejected.

Ask for a free upgrade to business class on a flight. Or ask your neighbor to borrow their weed wacker.

There’s a good chance you’ll hear “No.” But that’s the point of this exercise — to get used to hearing “No.”

When you do hear “No,” try to reframe your thinking about it.

Instead of thinking “I got rejected,” think “I am a little more resilient from this experience.”

And respond verbally in a calm, “No big deal” kind of way. For example, you might say “Never hurts to ask.”

(As we learned earlier, it might hurt a little. But being calm about rejection will help you grow your tolerance to it.)

Time for a quiz.

Sergio and his partner are at a hip neighborhood restaurant, waiting to be seated. What’s something he can do to practice his resilience?

Quiz 1 of 1

What’s something Sergio can do to practice his resilience?

Ask for a free meal.
Ask his partner to marry him.
Ask the maitre d' to seat them earlier.
Talk to a stranger in the restaurant.

Answer C: Ask the maitre d' to seat them earlier.

This is a small ask that the maitre’d will probably say no to. But Sergio can always say “Never hurts to ask.”


Today ask for something you might not get — like a free cup of coffee or a ride from a coworker. Remember to tell yourself that you’re not getting rejected, you’re practicing resilience.

Lesson complete

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